Ho, guys. At Panera, looking for jobs. Started off looking at KC-area universities, but the only one I'm remotely qualified for is a part-time lecturing job in communication studies, which...yeah, I doubt I'll get anything about of it, since communication studies is a lot different from film or writing. The one listing I was excited about from this Sunday's paper - what ostensibly looked like a writing professorship - is actually about English as an international language. I'm assuming in written form. THANKS A LOT, PARK U. Pfft.

I'm going to look at government jobs, too. I like offices, and they pay well, so I hear. But I wish I could get a job in sitting around. That would be great.

I just sent an email tinged with some anger. I probably shouldn't have done that, right? Am I a bad person, that two-plus weeks later, I'm still angry?

Wow! Okay! So, it's been awhile. After Burbank, I came home, the plan being to relax and catch up on sleep before heading out to LA at the end of June, to be roommates with UT Laura, get work, start this thing. I also wrote another draft on the serial killer script for the Austin Film Festival, and a BSG spec for the ABC TV-writing fellowship, in the meantime.

My mom and I fly to Austin, reserve a UHaul, load up all my stuff, and drive halfway to the Texas border. UT Laura lets me know that night she won't be going to LA at all. That was the first time since I killed the baby birds that I had a "why, Tracy, why" shower. My parents and I decided that there was no reason I had to go to LA right then, especially since all the plans were out the window, so my mom and I drove home. Then there were two days of straightening out the UHaul (they were going to charge me $1600 for taking it to KC instead of LA! but my mom called and called and got it down to $300, bless her heart). So now I'm going to try to find a job here, recoup my losses, get enough for a car and such, and then will hopefully try LA again sometime in the next year, although this time I'll be doing it living alone, which is a little scary. But it's what I want to do, so.

Other than that, not much to report. I finally got a new cell phone (huzzah!), and I'm not doing much of anything at the moment, so if folks want to give me a call (or let me know when it would be a good time to call them), I'd love to get caught up with everyone. I'm at a Panera bread right now using their wifi, since we STILL have dial-up at home. I haven't read Oh No They Didn't! in two months! The sadness, you guys. The sadness.

After sitting around waiting for the phone to ring all night, just got an email: no job. ;_; But they're "keeping my resume on file" for the future. (Which...doubtful, although possibly comforting to others.)

I was talking to my sister about this last week, I think, but I'm less upset about not getting the job (which part of me was already prepared for, just knowing how many people were being interviewed), than I am the amount of money I spent to fly out here to not get a job.

I think what did me in was this: they asked if I would be happy working in post-production if I wanted to be a writer. And maybe I should have lied or been disingenuous, but I don't want to play that way in interviews; I think regardless of how cool you may be, or how good an actor you are, people can detect that kind of insincerity. So I was honest, and said, yes, I want to be a writer, but I'm just entering the industry workforce and this seems like a great opportunity and I will certainly enjoy the work while I'm here. But I got the impression from talking to people in the program now at the mixer last night that they're looking more for advancement within; you start off as a glorified intern, then up to an assistant, then on from there.

Which is not the way the program was sold, and honestly, even if I did still just want to be a writer, ain't nothing wrong with setting up shop in an actual job with a set career path in the industry while I continue working towards dream career.

I did reply asking if they wouldn't mind telling me what the deciding factor was, so maybe it's something different, but...I doubt it. Ah well.

(What's funny is that I've been checking the email expecting this all night; the phone call, less so. So I read it with a sense of slightly sad understanding but acceptance. But, because I'm edging towards PMS, ended up crying in bed reading about Fran burying her father in The Stand. O_o.)

I just finished up with my interview with ABC, and apparently we're supposed to hear tonight whether or not we got the job, so keep your fingers crossed. I felt the interview went well--I'm not really nervous talking in front of people in general--although I was a little worried when they asked if I'd be happy working in post since I want to be a writer. So I had to convince them, YES, I want a job in MOVIES AND/OR TV, and it doesn't matter WHAT right now since I am UNEMPLOYED and HOMELESS.

Burbank's really nice. We're looking at apartments here regardless. As soon as I'm done with lunch, I'm going to go check some out. (It's still a novelty having a car to drive around with willy-nilly, even though it is a rental.) Then I get to fly home for a six-week break, although I have a lot of writing I want to get done in the interim.

Oh, and I guess I have a masters now. I was so tired last week that I didn't even really make note of it other than, "I'm (mostly) done." But now, after finishing a final and turning in grades and a polish, I'm totally done. No more school forever!

I'm flying to Burbank on Thursday and to home from there, so I've been packing packing packing. I turned in my thesis and report on Friday, so I just have my History of Greece final on Wednesday and then I'm done done done.

We made more posters, for the films of our other classmates. UT Laura's up first:





And mine: