I love my Roman Civ professor.

"Romans built temporary theatres with wooden bleachers built upon scafflolding, which sometimes collapsed, resulting in much carnage!"

"If Moe walked up to Curly, poked him in the eye, scratched his cornea, and made him go blind, it wouldn't be funny any more. Well, maybe it would." (This was when lecturing about tragedy, and how even the humor in ancient comedies was based on the pain of others.)

Describing the apparatus Romans used to snag enemy ships: "Great bloody metal spike!"

Hee. He amuses me. Imagine all these delivered in an Agent Smith voice, and you'll know why.