I have a bruise on my knee. Here's the thing with me and bruises: I don't get them. For example, yesterday I decided to turn on my oscilating fan while walking into the kitchen, and hit my hand on the edge of my dresser hard enough to break the skin, yet will it bruise? No. Last week, I was looking for something under the sink and came up and hit my forehead so hard on the corner of the counter that I think I blacked out for a moment, but did it bruise? No.

Now, I'm clumsy, but I would remember running into/banging against/tripping over/kicking wildly at/falling over/slamming against some stationary object with enough force to bruise myself, but do I remember?

No.

And now! Muzaks Wot Came Up on Shuffle:

"I Turn My Camera On," Spoon

"I Would Never Wanna Be Young," Gogol Bordello

"Damned Ladies," Rufus Wainwright

"The Infanta," The Decemberists

"Smiley Faces," Gnarls Barkley